Hole
by R.S. Valentine
Summary: Jimmy never really got over Tassadar's death...This's an old one I just sorta snipped off. I can't finish anything, sorry.


Hole

I was one lucky son of a bitch, that was for damn sure. I managed to 'make friends' with both the Executor of the High Templar and the Prelate of the Dark Templar on the same planet within the same week. Char had sucked, in more ways than one, believe you me. On that godforsaken planet, I had found the source of my nightmares and the love of my life only to have her snatched almost literally from my arms. The worst part had been the fact that she seemed to…No she DID enjoy her new power and flaunted it, effortlessly tossing around my new allies and myself, with little concern for our well being. Sarah--no the Queen of Blades could have killed us were it not for several fortunate events and the Protoss leaders' planning. I remembered it like it was yesterday. But years pass like minutes…

Now I stood inside a Dark Templar's ship, talking to Zeratul himself.

"What is wrong, Jim?" his voice, like dry leaves, crackled into my mind.

"I remember when you used to call me James Raynor…Every time you spoke to me, which wasn't often," I replied, not really speaking my mind.

"I haven't that kind of time Jim," he answered. He had given up speaking in metaphors and riddles long ago, realizing that Terrans weren't all that good with Protoss word games, "There is something else…?"

"Maybe," I replied, "I'm gonna go work out."

I had been on the ship long enough to know where the 'gym' was.

"I shall accompany you," he said. I winced. _That guy really has a way with words._ I knew he was going to make me spill my guts without lifting a finger. Sometimes he drove me nuts. But he WAS a gentleman to keep from reading my thoughts.

"I do not require that, your thoughts are on your face Jim," he stated, matter-of-factly as we walked down the hall. I shot him the stink eye and his mental chuckle almost made ME laugh…Almost. When we reached the gym, it was empty. There was usually a 'Toss or two in there, sparring but not now. It was clear to me that they had emptied upon our approach, probably from some silent bidding of Zeratul himself. Or maybe they simply sensed the tense situation.

I shed my bomber jacket and worked my arms in the white tank top I had on, enjoying the freedom. Zeratul watched for a moment, then began to remove his wrappings. I tried hard _not_ to watch but I was…Am a very curious Terran. Even while I _wrapped_ my own hands in bandages as for a sparring match, he was _un_wrapping most of his body, save of course for that mysterious loin cloth. I had always wondered about that thing…I mean, if they didn't have mouths, why should they have genitals?

"Ah, Terran logic at its finest," the voice, his voice blew through my head.

"Well this is awkward," I said. I knew my face was the color of a ripe apple but I chose to ignore it and finished with my hands. After a bit of a pause I turned to look at him. His purplish body was impressive, I'd give it that. He was perfectly toned and I came up to his chest. _Hold on there, Jimmy! _My mind was reeling. Had I just been checking Zeratul out?! _He's not only a Protoss, he's also a MAN. Get a hold of yourself! _If he'd had a mouth, he'd have been smiling…A lot. His eyes gave it away, he was very expressive for being a creature without a cake-hole. _Oh QUIT THAT!_

"If you insist," his mental chuckle tickled at my mind and forced a smile onto my face. He stretched a bit and I watched, enthralled by his altogether graceful, smooth motions. I was about to crack and spill it all when he took a swing at me. I rolled to the side, his large fist grazing my cheek. The last thing I wanted was to get nailed in the face by something that was bigger, faster and in better shape than I was.

"Holy cow Zeratul!" I shrieked.

"Impressive Jim," was all his mind conveyed.

"Are you trying to maul me?!" I didn't say kill because I knew if he wanted to _kill_ me, I'd be floored, probably drowning in a pool of my own blood.

"I am simply attempting to clear your head."

That was it, the straw that broke the camel's back.

"It's Tassadar, man…I just can't handle it."

"He was a brave warrior who gave his all to protect Aiur AND Shakuras…Even to his last breath…"

"It's more than that…Zeratul you KNOW that…It's always been more than that!"

That was it, I broke down. Flopping to my knees heavily, I began sobbing like a child…Naw…Like a man who's lost someone close. _Very close. _A hand on my back alerted me to Zeratul's comforting presence.

"I will not council you on how to grieve for him, James…However, I have a feeling that the last thing he would ever want to see is your tears."

I suppose I hadn't thought of that…'Course there were a lot of things I didn't think of. One of those things was, naturally, the fact that I, a thirty year old Terran had been madly in love with a several hundred year old Protoss. That never struck me as odd, however…Eh, some questions were best left unasked, even for myself and twice as well unanswered. The point was, I loved him and he was gone. He was gone and I was left, left with nothing but memories. When I knew Zeratul had my back, I just let it go. It felt good, cleansing to sob like that. Finally, I was able to just cry. I needed a cigarette, I needed a hug and most of all, I needed Tassadar. There was a hole in my heart, a Protoss, High Templar-shaped hole.


End file.
